As I write this, Seren heads off to her first day of school, the plums fall from our trees, dripping with juicy sweetness, and the apples hang heavy on branches. We will harvest this sweet bounty later, preserving it for winter. I welcome the changing seasons—the shift from the glorious busyness of summer to the focused energy of fall.

The overarching theme for me this summer, eight months since we learned that Shon is in remission from cancer (Yay!), was Integration. Walking through the fear and unknown of Shon’s cancer journey, rocketed me into a period of rapid emotional and spiritual growth. This was both amazing and exhausting. It was so much, that I was sure there were still corners of grief stuck inside of me, just waiting to be released, that my process of Integration would be messy, falling apart, racked with tears and sobs.

I took this messy vision of my Integration to a Wilderness Retreat for Mothers and Children—5 days and 4 nights off grid, sitting in council with other mamas, connecting with the land, each other, and ourselves, while our children were well tended. As I Wandered the wilderness on my own, instead of an upwelling of grief and deep, painful processing, I was light, joyous, grounded, and filled with awe. I felt a clarity I’ve often wished for. This new aspect of Integration caught me pleasantly by surprise. And I found myself in a place, where instead of needing to be held, I was fully present to hold space for others who were in the throes of deep grief and transition.

This time with Seren was such a gift. We were well nourished with incredible food, time in nature with just the 2 of us, and time for our individual explorations with our own guides. We rode horses bareback across the land. We played and sang songs, connecting deeply with other mothers and children. We careened down the slip and slide with screams and laughter. Seren saw her first shooting stars as we slept together under the Perseid meteor shower. It was pure magic. Pure, exhausting, magic.

The veil between worlds felt thin. I sat in Council for hours, meditating, drawing, holding space. This was a time of gathering power, stepping into a new phase of Trust in myself. Growing my connection to the earth, to self, to spirit.

While most mamas headed home after the retreat to reintegrate back into daily life, I was home for less than 12 hours before leaving for another week. This time I was on my own, joining a mural project in Vancouver, WA, led by Cowlitz tribal member and incredible artist, Sarah Folden. The mural project took place in a new building, called Nam u qas, which means Hope in Cowlitz. Nam u qas was designed as housing for foster kids who were transitioning out of the foster care system, many with babies of their own. It would create a landing place for them, with built in support systems, as they began living on their own.

Sarah designed approximately 16 murals on 4 floors inviting me to support the project due to my extensive experience with large-scale mural projects. We had connected via Instagram and had never actually met before that day. I was incredibly honored to be invited as the only white person on an otherwise Indigenous crew.

Sarah’s goal for this project was to give young Cowlitz artists their first opportunities in public art, and to begin building their public art portfolios. To that end, we worked with 3 young Cowlitz artists and a young trans man, each of whom carried so much wisdom and grace. And each of whom had a story that both broke and expanded my heart. Working with these young artists was a gift and an incredible honor. I witnessed Sarah share elements of Coast Salish art with the young artists, passing on important cultural knowledge, and them put their new knowledge directly into action. Go give these artists some love: Cheyenne Miller, Deimos Preston, and Kindra Davis.

One of the things that I appreciate about how Sarah led the project is her dedication to caring for the well-being of her crew. She insisted on breaks and working only 6 or 7 hours a day. If someone wasn’t feeling 100%, whether emotionally, mentally, or physically, she encouraged them to take care of themselves first.

We all stayed in a gorgeous house that Sarah rented in Vancouver. Not only did the house have a sauna and a hot tub, it had an entire book of recipes of yummy things to put on toast! I had my own suite and relished the time to simply rest, relax, and connect.

The 5 days I spent in Vancouver felt like a continuation of the spiritual journey I began on the Wilderness Retreat as we all shared deep, hurt and healing aspects of ourselves, held space for one another, made art, and rested. There I felt the power and connection that had gathered around me in the wilderness sink deep inside.

I was in Vancouver for my birthday and planned to go swimming in a river I heard about up in the mountains after work. Sarah brought me chocolates that morning and made the call to take off work early that day to celebrate. It was a 100+ degree day and swimming in the cool water with this amazing crew was such a treat. So, I got to celebrate my birthday on what felt like an artist retreat, surrounded by amazing humans, and swimming in a pristine mountain river. Pure bliss.

August is my month, housing both not only my birthday, but Seren’s birthday and Shon and my wedding anniversary. I returned home in time to celebrate my child’s birthday with a giant chalk maze, chocolate beet cake, and her birthday party. Only a few days later, I got to celebrate our anniversary with a final backpacking adventure with my family. Instead of a burly trip, we did a very easeful pack trip, camping at our favorite secret lake in the mountains for 5 days, swimming, playing games, hiking, and of course, catching newts!

Trust, Expansion, and Integration. This is my work. It requires me to practice these values in all aspects of my life—with my family, my community, and my work.

I return to work rested, ready, and with more clarity than I can remember experiencing. I Trust myself to follow this process, to allow Expansion and space for Integration. I am ready and open for the next steps on my Journey as a mother, an artist, a change maker, a healer, a friend, a lover, a human.

Are you interested in creating a better world with me? Whether you are looking for an interactive keynote for your conference or an artful strategy to create change, let's talk! I'm booking for 2024-2026 now. Click HERE to schedule a 15 minute Art in Action Exploration.